I invite you to look at your 9/11 remembrance from a grief perspective. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross defined five stages of grief and here is how they apply to our communal response to the 2001 terror attacks:
That moment you sat in front of the TV and couldn’t believe your own eyes. The following weeks and months when planes were grounded and everything felt surreal.
The phase of externalization. Now the energy goes outward and focuses on “them”: Terrorists, countries that harbor terrorists, but also people who look and believe differently from me. This is how to start a war.
Protracted war slows down and leads to frustration: How do you even begin to define victory in a seemingly endless war on terror? Does anything make a difference anymore?
Fully embracing the factual reality what happened while being able to acknowledge your feelings that go along with it. You are in charge of your reaction: You no longer need to run away from the fear through denial. You no longer need to project it on innocent bystanders. You find a new meaning and a new purpose.