Creationism? Intelligent Design? Evolution? Here is one account of how the internet came to be:
A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM):
Well, you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started, but
here’s the TRUE story …
In ancient Israel it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com
did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed,
she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband: “Why dost thou travel so far from
town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy
tent?”
And Abraham did look at her – as though she were several saddle bags short
of a camel load, but simply said: “How, dear?”
And Dot replied: “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between
to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling
you who hath the best price.
And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony
Stable (UPS).”
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the
drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were
saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was
called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP)
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself
inside Abraham’s drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham’s business.
But he was soon discovered, arrested and prosecuted – for insider trading.
And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly
take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican
Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and
the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches
were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who
bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on drums to
be made that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say: “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by
others.”
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be
known. He said: “We need a name that reflects what we are.”
And Dot replied: “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.” “YAHOO,” said Abraham. And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to
Locating Everything (GOOGLE)
And that is how it all began.
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